


Roses Are Red

by Gweneva_Creates



Category: Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Accents, Antivan, Antivan Crows, Attempted Suicide, Brothels, Brother Figures, Character Death, Character Growth, Coping, Depression, F/M, Family, Forgiveness, Growth, Hurt, Lots of Secrets, Love, Many lessons learned, Orlesian warden - Freeform, Pain, Recovery, Redemption, Romance, Rosso Noche, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Smut, Spanish, Strong Friendships, Suicide, The friends of red Jenny, There will be death, Torture, Zevran is a flirt, definition of slow burn, friendships, learning to love, really slow burn, roses are a theme, self discovery, trigger warning, whore
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2019-03-30 04:05:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13942224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gweneva_Creates/pseuds/Gweneva_Creates
Summary: Roses are RedBruises are BlueHurt my FamilyAnd I’ll come for youWhat if the hero of Ferelden was not from Ferleden at all? Nor dalish, dwarf, or human but rather elf-blooded. A woman of many secrets, a life built on lies and deceit. And what if that life came crumbling down and fate altered her steps?There’s only one way to find out....(I, of course, do not own Dragon Age or it’s lovely characters)





	1. Antiva City is Not So Bad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *CHAPTER UNDER CONSTRUCTION*

Antiva city.. where the say every man is a poet or a merchant prince, and treachery is the coin of the realm.

Perhaps that’s true.

Certainly enough grounds to prove it true and all the evidence to condemn such a fateful title on the city... if you can uncover it that is.

Also true that the stars are hard to see from any place given that the city never sleeps. Even on the rooftops near the merchant families, away from all the noise and light of the brothels and businesses, it’s still hard to see the glimmer of the sky’s fair diamonds. There is a different kind of beauty near the coast though. A warm, red sunsets kind of beauty. The crimson hue that always colored the horizon when the sun set she swore was because of the blood shed by the crows. The sound of the ocean waves never too far to hear the rumble and smell of salt mingling with spices and wine kind of beauty. Always warm, never a chill in the air like other regions of Thedas kind of beauty. A warm rains and freshly bloomed flowers kind of beauty. 

Antiva city is not so bad.

True in some parts of the city it reaks of fish or mold. If you avoid the factories and the docks around dinner time you can avoid the worst of the more putrid, none too subtle, aromas of Antiva. Indeed, none of the fragrances of Antiva are subtle. The smell of the Antivan leather working industry, for example, is potent at best. It carries for blocks; you can always tell those who live by it by the way it clings to their attire like leeches. Even the flowers are so numerous that they can be an overwhelming perfume. Dahlias, Passiflora, Hibiscus, Frangipani, Gentian sage, Yuca, Laelia Orchids. Every one of them mixed with the fresher scent of sea water by the coast. All smells one becomes well acquainted with when constantly “roaming” the streets of the jewel of Antiva. Most familiar, at least to her personally anyway, is The Boulevard of Seas. A streets paved in turquoise and sea-green tiles kind of beauty. Gardens, fountains, flowers. All lit by lanterns until first light. Yet work is not confined by the hours of night, not for her anyway. After all, the city never sleeps. Which means sometimes she can’t either. Yet still…

Antiva city is not so bad.

Sure, there are scandals around every corner. It is never hard for one with a sharp ear to overhear anything they could possibly want to know. And information, ooh information is priceless. With the right leverage you can crumble the foundation of any man. Words. Words are powerful things. In Antiva, just rumors alone can be an unforeseen dagger in your back. If just words themselves aren’t enough there is always the crows and the crows will make sure the deed is done with a much less metaphorical dagger to the back. The way she sees it: Antiva is a well guarded Rose, she is colored with the blood of crimson sins. Stay away from the thorns, learn to navigate them, pluck them off, whatever your pleasure but at the core she is a fine blooming exotic beauty with fine silk leaves and velvet petals. For all the danger she’s still a beautiful city. Full of intrigue and mystery.

Antiva City is not so bad.

The late hours give her moments like these. Time to “wander” the streets, a little sleight of hand here and a little sleight of hand there. None of it for herself.. well perhaps a little, one has to live after all. A few days ago she had received a tip from a friend about a noble in her area with a rather long ostentatious name causing problems. Those are the kind of things to invest some coin in to make profit after dealing with said nobles. As long as you invest in the right places. Never an easy task but she has her ways and her contacts. Keeps one on their feet, it enhances one’s street smarts. 

She turned down many alleyways, never using the same ones throughout the days. Never planning a route but instead making it up as I go, a form of improvisation one picks up. Forming habits and having favorite places causes ambushes, well placed assassins and often premature deaths. So you improvise. Leave it to a higher power … or fate, whatever you believe, to decide who you run into and who you don’t. In her mind her state of "living" validated the method.

A few more blocks and her destination is in sight. A small house, maybe three bedrooms. It is at least more spacious than most of the apartments in Antiva though comparably it was no more than a fishing shanty with a fire place. Someone is home and they’ve mended the fire recently, dinner is over for them by now but it was stew by the smell. The wife likes to garden, given the garden boxes on all the windows… so … normal. Airing on the side of caution she walked past and glanced through the windows. They won’t see her, not with the shadows being cast the way they are. She is careful to remain in them and observe for awhile. They seem ordinary. An elven woman and her human husband. Two children. A boy and a girl. The prior looks to be about seven and the latter perhaps four. Living without fineries and worrying about their next meal no doubt. She knew how it went. Every meal could be your last and you never know when the next one will be. Living like such only causes one to have a greater appreciation for what you do have. After all…

Antiva city is not so bad.

This is the part where the waiting begins. Children can be dangerous, they don’t know what to say or who to say it to. One slip and they’ll spread a rumor of the strange lady paying mommy and daddy a visit. That’ll get her some enemies. So she waits until they’re off to bed and still few moments more, children never do anything when first told and she knew they’d be up again. 

Until she is convinced it’s safe to approach she moved not a muscle, and when she did it was not by the front door, of course, but by the window near the fireplace. The curtains are drawn but the window is not latched, a red handkerchief hanging from the sill. They’re expecting her. She pulled her cloak hood over her face, taking no chances as innocent as they may seem.  
Quickly and quietly she stepped along the edge of buildings, always in the shadows until she can slip through the frame of their modestly humble abode. She kept the curtains close, concealing her figure.

“Don’t be alarmed.” A whisper on the wind and she knew she would be heard. Those elven ears would have heard the window open as well. The wife says nothing. She knows how it goes. “Lock the windows and close the curtains. The door as well. Slowly. Naturally.” She complies. Cleaning up the dishes before doing so. Her husband put out a few candles, they’ve dealt with this before. A smooth operation. Only then does she slip towards the mantle of the fireplace and into the small dining room. “Keep your voices low,” they comply to my soft spoken request, the wife taking the lead, she can hear me better. 

“If we don’t pay by the end of the week they’ll take the little ones. The brothel’s no place for our children to grow up. I don’t want to see them sold …” she spoke concerned but casual. Her pain was real and she was right. A brothel’s no place for them. 

“I’m working more than double my shifts at the fishery but he’s asking too much. He knows I didn’t sabotage that boat, someone framed me. They want their money and I don’t have it.” The husband sighed, putting a hand to his forehead and running it back through his hair. At the point the lights were dim enough and the sun set far enough that she could step further into the room and ask direct questions. 

“Who do you owe this debt to?” 

“Some noble prick from Ferelden. Niriam something. No, it was Maxwell Niriam. Says I sabotaged his ship. I’ll lose everything if I don’t pay.” 

“How much?”

“Twenty sovereigns.” If not trained to keep a calm demeanor she would have nearly choked on the very air she breathed. Ten sovereigns was quite the price to ask from a fisherman, nevermind twenty. Bringing in a load like that… she could eat for weeks. So could they.

“Please.” The wife pleaded, tears coming to her eyes. The word was choked out of her by sorrow and heartache. Silence stood as she thought this through. A process that didn’t take long. It was a smart investment to make and she had a friend who wouldn’t mind ruffling the feathers of a noble from overseas. Seems like she could come to an agreement here. 

“Alright, I’ll invest.” 

“What do we need to do?” 

“Leave your window unlocked until this all plays out, the one I came through tonight. All I request is a meal left on the hearth. Sound fair?” 

“More than fair.” 

“Then here.” She slipped her hand into the coin purse at her hip and pulled out a few silvers, it’s not too much but it’s enough to get them by until the payment. With a gloved hand she dropped the coins onto the mantle beside her head “I’ll leave small payments every morning, use them wisely. You’ll have your sovereigns before the end of the week. When you wake in the morning hang a bread basket above where I’m standing, when I have the money you owe it’ll be inside.” They both tearfully expressed their thanks to both her and the Maker. For a week she would have at least one meal a day. That was good enough for her. She waited until they put out the fire and left only a lantern on the table lit before slipping back out the shadowed window. This would be the best investment she had ever made if she could pull it off. That family would get their twenty sovereigns, and she would get so much more. All she'd have to do is rob this Maxwell’s ship, tear down his life one nasty bit of information at a time. This couple would pay him with his own stolen sovereigns and she… well then she would get the sovereigns. But first…

There was someone she needed to meet with about this unwanted noble. Someone who would enjoy cutting Maxwell Niriam's strings until the poor sodded puppet was noosed to his own demise. 

Oh yes, Antiva City is not so bad.


	2. A Normal Day in Antiva

Before daylight she slipped through the window and left the silver on the mantle like she said she would, ate a biscuit, and slipped out and down an alleyway. She took a moment to stretch in the sleepy morning and work the stiffness out of her muscles. Sleeping in leather wasn’t ideal but it was never safe to be without it. At least it didn’t feel safe and one could never be too cautious.  
Adorning her body was a normal enough faded green tunic the material hug off her shoulders in what some may call a scandalous fashion. The front of which was modestly laced and a leather guard belted around the waist from under bust to hips. Forearms and shins guarded by decent enough leather armor and thin leather gloves. The cloak around her shoulders was of antivan make, a very dark ebony, underneath the bindings of her twin daggers, hood down in the day. Inside her boots were concealed blades and inside the waistband and tunic as well. You could never be too careful. One can never have too many knives. One of the many mantras that go through her head.

She made her way through the crowds, grabbing an apple on her way through a small market place. It wasn’t worth the steal but it would taste good all the same. She had worked with the vendor before, he’d had some trouble with traders from Tevinter. Never can trust a vint they say. It was sorted out thanks to some contacts within the crows. No one died of course, just a routine threat, a pay off, and all was well. She left the threats to a friend of hers though, not one to get her own hands too dirty.  
The same friend who would help with this noble from Ferelden. A simple deal she could imagine. In her mind the vendor, whose name was not important enough to be recalled, could afford to lose an apple. Considering he wouldn't have the stand, or his life menial as it is, if it weren't for her. If the day ever came when he thought to confront her she would simply remind of that fact. 

She neared the building close to the leatherworking district and walked into the alleyway. Four windows over and two high was the apartment she would find her 'friend' in. So up she went. Practiced movements and well known handholds bringing her safely through the window where she sat on the sill and waited. The sleeping figure of her contact silhouetted by the window behind her.. Waking her was not an option to be considered. Sleep was hard to catch in Antiva, especially for a crow and she knew that better than anyone. Not to mention she’d be strangled for sure if she roused the woman. 

“And to what do I owe the pleasure of your company this morning?” Voice calm and slightly groggy. She turned to meet the large dark eyes gleaming with fondness as they fluttered open. Familiarity was a rare thing for one such as her and those who managed to become regular enough in her life, without dying or killing her, were cherished friends. Watched ever so carefully.

“I need your help again, Blue.” She spoke unmoving from the window sill where she still sat. It was not a code name but rather an inside joke. She had a personal policy to defend both her own identity and others in the case of betrayal. It was to never use her name. Instead she went by Red and Blue had made a joke about wanting to be a color as well. And thus she was nicknamed such. 

“So soon after the last time?” The elven-blooded lass climbed out of bed dressed in the simplest of trousers and a plain tunic. Her long ebony hair was pulled out of her face, she apparently had fallen asleep with braids by the way her hair waved. When she approached the floor level window and sat down across from Red. She attempted to fix it. “Let me guess: Another mission from those ‘friends’ of yours?” A nod was given in response and she resumed staring down the alley way to watch for suspicious onlookers. There were none yet thankfully. “What is it this time?” Blue questioned. Before she could answer the sound of boots in the hall gave away the approach of someone else. Breath hitched and muscles reacted. She skillfully dropped herself from the window and caught the ledge. Her crow contact didn’t lose a single beat as she closed the window behind her and gazed out as if admiring what little of Antiva she could see from there. Her keen ears picked up their muffled voices and the mention of a name she didn’t quite catch. Blue sounded relieved when she spoke again and she watched as she turned and opened the window. Her hand waved in an inviting manner and Red put enough trust in her to pull herself back up into my original seat. Her eyes scanned the features of the intruder to determine the level of threat he would be should he decide to attack. A dual wielder like herself, given his build he’d be stronger than me. If it came to a fight I’d need to focus more on tactics and strategy than brute force. But he wouldn’t attack. She smiled knowingly. 

“Ah our mysterious rogue of intrigue I take it.” He looked to Red and then back to their mutual friend with a golden gaze of slight disbelief, addressing his question to Blue. “The source of your information?” 

“Yes,” Blue responded openly before turning back to Red with a gaze that would no doubt instill trust into a rabid nug. “The one I told you about.” He seemed decent enough and Red finally understood why she chose to call him Gold (other than her apparent love for colors). His skin was a lovely warm copper tinted tone, sun kissed even. Her own tanned complexion had more of an olive and rose tinted hue while his was pure liquid sun. Blue had mentioned him before and she felt as if she already knew him. Him knowing Blue admittedly better than she, she imagined he felt the same. 

“So you’re the infamous Red I have heard so much about. The one who leave the clues.” He purred with a smile on his face. Something told her he used his charms proficiently and professionally. Perhaps a little pride underneath that beauty, undeniably so. He closed the distance to join them at the window and Red checked the alleyway again. Still no onlookers. 

She confirmed, “I am and I have word. A new target for you should you choose to accept.”

Gold appeared intrigued “Oh?”

“A noble from Ferelden. Niriam. Maxwell Niriam.” 

“Ah, I’ve heard of this man. Or rather the crows have. He’s been quite the nuisance at the port. It’s no surprise someone wants him dealt with.” Gold informed forthcomingly. Part of her was hoping he’d be as useful as Blue. She could use more contacts within the crows. You can never have too many cards up your sleeve. Though admittedly Blue had become more than just a card up her sleeve… she was different. A loyalty and trustworthiness not often found in such a profession was deeply imbued into that woman. While blue had told her much about this Gold character she had never seen him in person. Before today he had only seen her handwriting and her markers left for Blue.

“It’s more than that. He’s framed a fisherman for sabotage, wants twenty sovereigns from the man. I do not like the feeling of this one.” Her eyes flicker to the alley way to see a passer by, a commoner who’d easily mistake her for one the assassins quartered here. The man behind them however, was an infamous troublemaker. A loud mouth in the streets. She pulled herself into the room and had Blue take her place. A camp transition that would look only as a position change. Her back against the wall and right shoulder against Blue's spine as Blue leaned half on her and half on the window frame. Better to not risk drawing attention, as paranoid as it may seem. “I want information before things get … messy. First things first. I want to know what this noble’s dealings are, who he is connected with in Antiva. Once we weaken his standing he’ll be more vulnerable and that’s when you strike. Ruin a man’s reputation and then take his gold.” 

“Wise.” Gold agrees, stepping closer to them and casually looking out the window next to Blue. I watch his brows dip ever so slightly with curiosity and concern. “Looks like you are going to need another exit. Your friend in the alleyway does not seem to be going anywhere any time soon.” Great. Just what she needed. Someone interested in her dealings. She let out a sigh and let her hooded head rest against the wall behind her. Eyes closed and panic subdued before it could even begin. She let herself believe she was just tired. Blue looks to Gold as if she’s talking to him casually but I know it’s directed at me. They were playing a game now. The game. Against their friend in the alleyway. Making him believe only two crows occupied this room, talking about crow things. 

“We have a few weeks before we are sent for a long contract our third party accepted. That should be enough time, yes?” 

“If all goes accordingly, more than enough.” She responded as Blue worded a silent response towards Gold so the onlooker would think they were in conversation, playing decoy as it were. 

“Brilliant. A small escapade with a Ferelden noble should be fun.” Gold let out a laugh and stepped away from the window. He wordlessly eyed Red and she understood. She slid herself away from Blue against the wall until she wouldn’t be seen from the window anymore. Then followed in Gold’s shadow until they made it to the door. Swiftly and quickly she ducked behind him and escaped into the hall where prying eyes would no longer catch sight. Whoever that figure was he was no good. This was the third time this month she'd narrowly avoided running into "an observer" and she wasn’t necessarily keen on anymore close calls. She followed Gold’s lead as he ventured forth down halls that were only familiar to him, up a flight of stairs and into what she assumed was his room. It was bare of any personal effects, no blankets, curtains or carpets. Only a bare shelf stacked with towels in a far corner. Spare daggers issued to new or training recruits in another corner. There was one bed with a sorry excuse for a mattress and a makeshift bed of piled blankets and a sheet on the floor across from it. His roommate was obviously out on contract, or dead. 

“That window leads to the roof of one of the buildings in the leather making district, a safe route, less unwanted onlookers.” He motioned towards the farthest window, it was built higher into the wall than any of Blue’s. Underneath it was the cot like bed, positioned in such a way that one could gaze out the glass while laying down. “Blue, as you call her, will meet us at the port when she can. Ladies first.” He gestured towards the window and she climbed onto the cot and opened it. They were three stories up and five windows over. She made mental note of that needing to remember it. Below her was not much of an alleyway, barely wide enough for one on ground level to walk through. Luckily she wasn’t interested in descending, but rather ascending to the roof of the leather shop one story higher than them. This would be slightly trickier but certainly doable. She bit the fingertips of her gloves and pulled her hands out of them simultaneously before reaching out to the first handhold she'd spotted. She pressed her back against the exterior of the apartment wall for balance with her feet on the shop wall across from her and climbed her way up. Gold was not far behind, stopping only to close the window behind him. Within minutes they were on top the roof with the smell of leather wafting about. An overpowering smell but not necessarily a bad one. Certainly better than dead fish or rotting flesh, both of which are common Antivan aromas. She took lead and followed the chimneys to the neck of the building where they could descend to an alleyway and start making their way towards more coastal parts of Antiva City on the other side of the leather making district. 

“You know, I am disappointed that she failed to mention how entirely striking her informative is.” She let out a quiet sound between a scoff and a laugh. Upon reaching the edge of the building she turned so as to align her heels with the edge of the roof and outstretched her hand. Gold read her actions as if she had written them clear as day before him and gripped her forearm to help lower her down closer to something she could grab onto. The silence met by his previous comment was apparently not enough to deter him. “Not one for simply flattery I see, not that you should be. No, I suspect one such as yourself is worthy of much more than words.” 

“She failed to mention your finer qualities as well.” 

“Ah so you’ve noticed.”

“Hard to miss an ego you can see for miles.” He laughed at the joke she had worded so carefully. When he thought she was caving in to his charm she was really setting him up to be deflated. There was no denying the satisfaction she felt at the cleverness. They reached the ground and she dropped her hood so as not to draw attention. A dark mysterious figure casually walking through town with a known crow was sure to draw attention. It was best they act casual and keep conversing once they exited the district. 

Warm wind hit her face, blowing locks of cropped ebony against her chin, the ends tickling her neck as they finally made it near the market place. The scent carrying on the breeze forced her eyes up towards the sky. There were clouds rolling in on the horizon, her instincts were correct. She slowed my pace to walk beside instead of lead the elf. “Smells like rain.” 

“If we wait for the cover of night and rain we will be almost invisible at the port.” A wise suggestion from Gold and a perfect opportunity for her to conduct some business. She needed the coin and has had a few requests from some of the lower class. Simple things like requests for medicine or silver in exchange for information, rumors and such that she could use as leverage and blackmail against noble pricks. Information her friends could use. 

“You’re right. In the meantime, how good of a pickpocket are you?” Her words were quiet enough that only his elven ears would have picked them up. His lips upturned in a knowing smirk and honey eyes glanced back. She returned the glance and told him what they needed. Not a huge operation but it was always risky. Getting five copper could be just as dangerous as getting a sovereign or two, the level of risk was the same with pickpocketing. “Only from the well off, no vendors and no commoners.” Rules were set and a meeting place discussed before they parted ways to explore the market place. It didn’t take long to acquire what was needed and she took the liberty of purchasing some Salmon and Avocado sushi rolls and a ripe mango from a vendor of goods from Rivain. No one could accuse of her of never making an honest purchase. She then made her way to the meeting point and sat down on the stone surrounding the fountain on the outskirts of the marketplace. Her acquaintance met up with her after she had finished eating half of the fruit.

“Mango?” She offered the uneaten half to him, impaled on the edge of the dagger. He accepted and slid the fruit off the weapon before sitting down across from her. She ate four of the eight rolls and offered the rest to him which he also accepted. The tan curves along his cheek bone and temple moved when he ate. They were quite lovely. 

“It’s refreshing to see an elf without vallaslin.” 

“I could give you one should you so desire.” He replied after a remark she tried to ignore about there being more ink in other places. The thought of a tattoo was not an unwelcomed one, in fact she may honestly consider it. 

“I may take you up on that. The ink, that is, not the innuendo.” 

“I would suggest red.” 

“Oh?” 

“Mmm.” He hummed and swallowed his mouthful before reaching over to her. He lightly pressed two fingers to her left temple and traced an invisible path that curved across her cheekbone and stopped halfway to the lower corner of her jaw. Luckily she was not one to be easily flustered, she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of that either. “I envision a rose.” 

“A fine idea.” She stood to break the unappealing moment he had created with his caressing fingers. A charmer he was and she would not be his next victim. It was time to get on with delivering the silver and acquiring that medicine for those families. Her thoughts drifted to his suggestion for a tattoo as they walked. 

A Rose huh? What a coincidence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies! 
> 
> You can probably guess who her friends are. If not you’ll find out soon! 
> 
> (may be subject to edits later on. I will warn you here in the notes if I start making edits to previous chapters)
> 
> *STORY UNDER CONSTRUCTION*


	3. Mice In The Chantry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just business as usual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~ ~ ~ indicates a POV change 
> 
> \- - - indicates time passing

It was late. Very late. The sun had gone down more than just hours ago and the moon was high in the sky. She had stopped by the house of the small family to drop a fourth of the sovereigns they owed in the basket along with a red cloth and to eat. They had set fish out by the lit fire to keep warm accompanied by some fruits. She had eaten it hungrily and departed without resting. Tonight was a night of no sleep. 

While Blue and Gold were at the port “securing” those sovereigns from Niriam himself and “collecting” information she had gone to speak with some of the merchants who weren’t so fond of the Ferelden noble. This led to following a name trail until she met someone with a good enough financial standing and social status that they had strings to pull against Niriam. A deadly puppet show would ensue in the future and he’d be caught in the strings. She had spun a web and he’d be entagled and eaten alive by his own associates. Cannibalism of the classy. She couldn’t help but laugh. 

Her thoughts drifted as she crossed into the leather making district. She'd been so focused on a minor victory today that she'd stopped watching her surroundings for awhile. Long enough that she mentally scolded herself for not being more careful. she turned to her left and rounded a corner so she could catch a glance behind her. A trick she learned over the years instead of glancing over her shoulder constantly. There was a figure not too far off, shouldering his way around an empty merchant stand towards her. Great… she had been too reckless. The long way around then. She quickened her pace and ran as soon as the corner she rounded blocked her from view. Her mind played out different routes she could take and chose the best one. She knew these streets well and was determined to lose him. 

~ ~ ~

“This Red character. You’ve known her for quite some time now?” The question was unexpected and threw her mind into searching for a reason as to why he would ask such. Though knowing him he was probably implying something. He always was. 

“She’s not a lover.” she blurted to deter any further leadings towards the subject.

“I did not say she was. Though if she was surely you would at least include me?” The alarmed glance she shot at him was enough a stab as any comment she could possibly make.

“You can’t have all the fun. How selfish of you to keep a lovely flower such as she to yourself.”

“Now what were you actually going to say?” she ignored his antics knowing he had something else to say. Underneath his mask of charm and seduction he was a complex individual. He could be caring, capable of love, even though the crows were against such. Love is a weakness they say but she thought it a strength. Take Red for example, she'd watched her become so much more than what her "organization" made her out to be. She knew if it came down to it Red would betray her people instead of her. They had become like family and that was because of love. That is what the crows lack. Love. 

“Just that we have been carrying out these missions of hers for many months. How is it I have not met her before now?” 

“She did not want many people knowing of her and her connections.” 

“I imagine it is quite dangerous. Does she tell you how these things are resolved?” He asked in a lowered tone as they began to ascend the stairs of the apartments. 

“Of course she does. Unless I have already received word of it through …” her breath caught in her throat as the door to the apartment came into view. It was ajar and steps could be heard walking to and fro inside. An arm reached out and halted her progress, pushing her against the wall where they were currently standing. He reached a toned arm up and drew one of his twin blades before stepping lightly towards the room. She held her breath with concern and anticipation. Red wouldn’t be so careless as to leave the door open, she wasn’t one to draw attention to herself. She watched as he peered through the gap at the pacing figure inside and turned back to her. He sheathed his dagger and waved a hand dismissively. So it was no threat but it did not involve me. That was no matter for concern but she felt a twinge of worry. Red was supposed to be waiting for them in the apartment and if it wasn’t her occupying his space then who? And where did she go? The answers would come soon enough she supposed. But all she could think of is what it would mean for Red if she was caught… or for herself for that matter. She couldn’t lose her. 

~ ~ ~

She had sat down in the corner of Gold’s room, watching the window, the door, waiting… waiting … the rain falling in heavy sheets outside was lulling. Tap tap tap against the glass. One could fall asleep to it if not for the tap that began to ascend the stairs. It was not the step of Blue or of Gold. This person was heavier footed with a larger gait than either of her people. Not willing to take any chances she swiftly crossed the room and slipped out the window, making sure to close it as she went. In her haste her foot slipped and her lip caught on a metal hook on the window ledge. A silent hiss through clenched teeth but she kept her balance between the two close buildings. Her legs bent, back straight and pressed against the wall behind me and feet pressed against the wall of the building next door. I was wedged in between creating an imaginary seat for herself in the small gap. Pressing a gloved hand to her lip. The taste of warm liquid iron filled her mouth. The door to Gold’s room opened and the footsteps stopped in the center of the room, a second pair following shortly after. She held her breathe unnecessarily. 

“Braska!” A male voice obviously none to happy. The thin walls muffled the voice only slightly. “Damnit Zevran!” 

“He’s probably out galavanting with that elven lass. They’re getting awfully close, those two.” A second voice answered. 

“It doesn’t matter.” 

“Talisien. Something needs to be done about Rinna. You know …”

“Lower your voice. I know she’s more than just a knife ear. She’s a royal knife ear and you know what Master Eoman said.”

“We should look into who…”

“Shut up! These walls always have ears. We’ll talk later.” The first voice yelled and the second man could be heard retreating from the room. The first remained much to her dismay and began to pace. His boots thudded across the floor and then back, occasionally muttering something. She tried not to move her feet. The rain was falling so heavy that the danger of slipping was high if she moved too much. Her clothes were entirely soaked through and she didn’t know how long her legs could hold up but she supposed she was about to find out. It was too risky to go down into the alley below or up the roof above. She'd have to remain where she was and hope that Blue and Gold returned soon.

They know about Blue. She instantly wished she hadn’t heard that. Not because she didn’t already know it but because she had hoped noone would discover Blue’s identity. Not until it was over. Her curiosity and mistrust could not be satiated. She knew she would have to look into this Talisien. First thing was first. she'd find out what Master Eoman had said. No one could interfere with the plans for Blue and she feared for both her life and those involved. There was much at stake. 

 

\- - - 

 

The voices were speaking too low for her to hear everything they were saying but she had recognized the voice and the foot falls of Gold. Whoever this Talisien was he was not pleased in any way shape or form with him. More concerning to her a the moment though were the bruises forming on her back from the pommels and sheaths of the twin daggers at her back. Her legs were no longer just aching but screaming for rest. She was not so sure she could hold out for much longer. Perhaps this Talisien could reprimand Gold at a later date … or in a different room. But alas it was not so

She leaned my head back against the wood behind her and felt the rain fall heavily on her face. Dripping down her neck convincing me that Antiva may as well be a rainforest … of buildings instead of trees. She extended her arms to give her legs a bit of a break but they too were exhausted from the taxing exertion. Her limbs had begun to shake slightly. The only thing to be glad for was that the rains are warm in Antiva. 

For awhile all she could hear was the thump of her heart beat and and pitter patter of rain as it hit her leather armor. Eyes were sore from trying to keep the rain out of them and she imagined her skin was thoroughly pruned. Perhaps it would have been wise to descend into the ally way, she was contemplating her decision making when the window opened. Relief. She weakly pulled herself through the opening and was thankful for the help she received. She didn’t know how much strength she had left but it was enough to plop herself down on Gold’s cot with exasperation.

“Having fun without me are you?” The elf narrowed his eyes with a devious connotation to his words and a sly smile on his lips. She rolled her eyes and feigned being a damsel.

“What can I say? Destroying Nobles hopelessly turns me on. I’m weak.” He laughed and made his way across the room away from her. Though her muscles protested, she forced herself to get up and remove her daggers and cloak. There was nothing dry about her and it was starting to overwhelm her senses. There was nothing appealing about wet clothes. It wasn’t necessarily an enjoyable sensation for her anyway. Gold threw something that she caught relieved to be holding a towel. He crossed the room again and placed a bundle of what she assumed to be dry clothes on the cot.

“I will get Blue and we shall discuss a great many things.” 

“Oh we’ve much to _discuss_ I’m sure.” She winked as he left. His chuckle satisfied the joke in her mind. As soon as the door closed she hurriedly stripped and dried off. It was easy enough to dress in the clothes he provided and they fit quite well she might add. Though the tunic was definitely not her usual style. The sleeves were long and with the heat of Antiva that was not such a common thing. Something told her these were Blue’s clothes. She rolled her eyes and threw the towel over her head. A moment of reflection ensued under the damp weight. The diffused light shining through the knitted holes of the material. She stared into the fuzzy depths allowing her breathing to regulate itself and her heart to slow. In. Out. In. Out. She could feel every muscle in her tired body pulse from exertion. Lulling her into a trance with the constant rhythm. It was possible that she was slightly rocking back and forth but she couldn't tell if it was her moving or the towel. There were so many ways the day could have been a lot worse than it was. Had she never regained her senses before entering the leather working industry her unwanted pursuer could have caught her unawares. There had been many close calls while speaking with Niriam's allies. It was always a battle of wit and mind when speaking with nobility. One needed to be good at picking up nonverbal ques and bold in the face of presumptuousness. You had to convince them that what wasn't true was true and what was true was false, shake their foundations and make them spill their knowledge. Some were more forthcoming than others, some could be bought but she needed to determine which they were by body language. Never underestimate what actions can tell you about a person. Any one of those nobles could have stuck a dagger in her back, proverbial or otherwise. Another day another victory didn't begin to cover what had gone on today. And while she could only hope Blue and Gold had come out as successful as she, she also knew they had faced as much danger as she did. Any one of them could have died. Or alerted Niriam to the fact that someone was pulling his strings. Some puppets feel the jerk of their strings. An enemy that is aware if your presence is a lot different than an oblivious one. Not all of them were blinded by their pride though and Niriam had surrounded himself with level headed, devious men who kept their minds as sharp as their blades. This was becoming one of the hardest targets she had ever faced and she didn't like the negative outcomes that ran through her head at every turn. Perhaps it was just pessimism but she had a deep rooted suspicion that this would not end the way she wanted it to. Her thoughts came to a halt as sharp ears twitched to the sound of steps as two light-footed rogues approached the door and she caught only the casual whispers of the conversation they were having. The towel fell behind her and she ran nimble calloused fingers through her hair trying to bring order to the damp mess of ebony locks, ever so slightly tinted with autumnal hues. The ends barely tickling her shoulders as she did. 

“See, I told you she’s in one piece.” Warmth hit the back of her hand where droplets of blood had splattered against her skin. That’s when she remembered hitting her upper lip on that metal hook. How bad could it really be? Her hand lifted to inspect the area and found it was quite sore, blood already running down her chin. 

“More or less.” She replied softly, voice tinged with more exhaustion than she intended, while applying pressure to the cut. Her other hand grabbed the towel behind her and used it to wipe off the blood from her hands and face. She decided to hold it against her lip for a little while and hope her face stopped leaking crimson. 

“I hope assassins don’t mind blood on their towels.” Blue remarked as she crossed the room to begin inspecting the wound. Always the kind one … unless she’s you know .. eliminating someone. Relief was evident on her face. She’d been worried by the haze in her eyes. Part of her hated that the woman could be so concerned about someone she barely knew. 

“They don’t seem to mind it in their beds.” Red smirked, regretfully after catching the taste of iron in her mouth as she did. Blue rolled her eyes with a light smack to her injured friend's shoulder. 

“You’re just as bad as he is, what did you do to her?” Blue laid blame to Gold.

“What? You blame me?” He feigned offense before shrugging his shoulders. “Fine I will take credit for this one but only because I find it quite enjoyable myself.” A small bit of laughter ensued between the two of them but she was too weary for jokes and couldn't bring herself to join their idle chatter any longer. All she needed to know was the information her contacts had discovered. They were contacts she reminded herself.

“So what did you discover, I trust you did not come back empty handed.” She questioned and Blue was the one to answer. 

“Maxwell Niriam is working for a noble by the name of Howe.”

“It was rather suspicious if you ask me, and we did manage to acquire those sovereigns you wanted. They are in the locations you requested.” Gold chimed in causing Blue to smile. Ah yes. It was done. The sovereigns were in the basket for that family and she had some to herself in a separate location. Now the family would pay Maxwell with his own stolen sovereigns. Neither would know. Oh this was priceless. The success built up her confidence only slightly, in her wearied state she knew she would feel less contemplative in the morning. Tiredness and near death always made her more apt to think more deeply than was healthy. “And you? How did you fare?” 

“I spoke with some of the commoners who have fallen privy to Niriam’s ‘charm’ and they pointed me to some more equipped to pull the leash on that coward. I’ve already sent a few anonymous letters. His downfall in eminent.” It was a presumptuous and hopeful statement built on little fact and if she had faith in anything other than skill she would have claimed to be stating it in faith. 

“You really came through with this one, Red.” 

That was something they would have to see. Niriam was still breathing, breathing meant speaking and speaking meant he had some amount of control. What his next move would be was unforeseeable but it was doubtful that he wouldn't notice their presence. Like mice in the chantry, they only go unseen for so long. Eventually the evidence of their presence is undeniable. And today they had certainly left bigger tracks than just some missing cheese. Nevertheless all there was to do now was to tell the friends, watch Niriam burn and also look into Howe. She wanted more information, especially if there was a greater scheme underneath all this. What did Howe have to do with the scamming bastard Niriam and more important was it something she could use? That would just have to be found out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello lovelies! 
> 
> Sorry if this one went by too fast. I might add more details later. Please tell me how you feel about it! Input is always appreciated!


	4. Lullabies and Letters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I absolutely adore this chapter and I hope you love it as much as I do! It was amazing to write and I have so many feels about it.

We had been talking. Not even about anything in particular. Just the three of us again. Blue, Gold and Red. Quite the trio when all of us combined. We had all been fairly tired after the day today and it was one of those rare times that all of us ended up in Blue’s apartment room.  
She was tossing in her sleep. Sometimes she’d break a cold sweat and I often wondered if she remembered the horrors when she woke. I watched her closely from where I sat at the head of her bed with my back against the wall, her head in my lap. Her brow knit together and lips moving as she talked in her dreams. It wasn’t until she thrashed that I ran my fingers through her hair. I’d leave anyone else but not her. She was family now. She’d made herself family. Gold watched from the other side of the room where he sat in the window. He cared just as much as I did for her. It wasn’t the first night we’d spent like this and it probably wouldn’t be the last. Blue thrashed once again and I began to sing quietly. It was a song Blue had heard from me before. I remember the first time I sang it to her. We had been walking the coast, with our feet in the sand and the water after a particularly tiring contract she’d been sent on.

_“Your eyes are like the ocean, Red.” Blue broke the silence. I feel the cool waves rush strong past my knees and smelled the salty breeze. All the diamonds in the world couldn’t compare to the ocean at night in Antiva. When the waves reflect the stars above and the dim light in the horizon meets the sea in the distance._

__

“I’ve always loved the ocean.” 

__

“Do you know why?” I remember thinking hard about it.

__

_“A song. One I have always known.”_

“Hush now, mo stóirín  
Close your eyes and sleep  
Waltzing the waves  
Diving in the deep  
Stars are shining bright  
The wind is on the rise  
Whispering words  
of long lost lullabies

Oh won't you come with me  
Where the moon is made of gold  
And in the morning sun  
We'll be sailing

Oh won't you come with me  
Where the ocean meets the sky  
And as the clouds roll by  
We'll sing the song of the sea

I had a dream last night  
And heard the sweetest sound  
I saw a great white light  
And dancers in the round

Castles in the sand  
Cradles in the trees  
Don't cry, I'll see you by and by

Oh won't you come with me  
Where the moon is made of gold  
And in the morning sun  
We'll be sailing

Oh won't you come with me  
Where the ocean meets the sky  
And as the clouds roll by  
We'll sing the song of the sea

 

Rolling  
Rolling  
Rolling  
Rolling

Oh won't you come with me  
Where the moon is made of gold  
And in the morning sun  
We'll be sailing free

Oh won't you come with me  
Where the ocean meets the sky  
And as the clouds roll by  
We'll sing the song of the sea”

I carefully moved off the bed, not stirring her in the slightest as I sang the ending. My steps were light as I moved to the window with Gold. I sat down so that our stretched out legs ran ankle to hip along each other. 

“Rolling …

Rolling 

Rolling 

Rolling”

Silence fell and she didn’t stir. I looked at Gold in front of me who was still looking out the window. He placed a hand on my shin but kept his eyes on the stars. Some nights we stayed like this, Gold wouldn’t retire to his room because he could the stars better from Blue’s. I joined him in looking at them glittering above the rooftops. They’d be easier to see outside the city, even now at the dead of night you could just barely make them out. 

“What is she to you?” He spoke quietly but the break in the silent atmosphere startled me. I looked at him but he wasn’t looking at me. Sometimes I wondered if he got jealous of how close I was to Blue. Maybe that’s why he was asking. No. I knew that wasn’t true. 

“She’s the moon.” I answered. How far did I want to go in explanation? How much of an answer did I want to give him and how much of an answer did he want? I looked back at her sleeping peacefully. “She is family.” He looked at me then. Not with a glare and not with a smile. It was unreadable. Maybe I should give him the entire truth. Who knows when I’ll have a chance again, I could die tomorrow, or he could die tomorrow. “You are too you know.” His brow twisted in confusion and honey eyes questioning. A wordless request to explain. “You are family too. She is the moon and you are the sun.”

“And what are you in this analogy of yours?” 

“I …hmm.” I didn’t plan on continuing to answer. There was no answer I could think of.

“You’re the sea.” 

“Oh?” 

“The sun and the moon are always together, like a Rinna and I. The moon never sets, it is always with the sea, that is you and Rinna. While the sun meets the sea at the horizon as it leaves and paints the sky red. Gold meets Red.” There are a few ways he could have meant that. The sun meets the sea could be one of Gold’s famous flirtatious innuendos. I wouldn’t think too far into it. I smiled.

“the innuendo for the color red painting the sky combined with an assassin isn’t exactly romantic” I threw some sarcasm and wit into our conversation, he chuckled. That’s how we are together.

I felt his hand rub my shin and I began to read my latest letters from my “friends” which had been tucked inside my tunic. I only had the faint light of the moon through the open window to see the writing with but it was enough. I hummed the tune of the slow melody as I read.

_R,_

_The crows are not the sort you want to get involved with and interfering with their business could end you. But if I know anything about you then I know you’d find another way around me. So I’ll tell you what I know or at least what I’ve heard. There has been talk of finding an heir to the king. Your suspicions aren’t unwarranted, there most likely is a plot against your friend. The crows wouldn’t want one of there own rising that high. For your own safety I’d advise you don’t get involved though._

_As for Howe, he’s been quiet about his dealings but I have my suspicions. With worries of a blight starting to trickle through Ferelden the nobility have been stirring so as you can imagine politics have been agitated as of late. Strange for one so far to be interested in Ferleden’s dealings, thinking of paying a visit are you?_

_Stay safe,_

_G_

(Attached is another letter) I felt Zevran shift and a weight press onto my thighs as I switched papers but I didn’t bother to look. I knew he was laying on his side with his head in my lap and an arm extended across my thighs. I continued to hum and read my letters. 

_R,_

_That Prince you mentioned is just a royal who stuck it in a lot of unwanted places. Couldn’t keep it in his pants, am I right?_  
(*Below is a picture of a poorly drawn man with a crown waving around .. well I won’t say*)  
_If you want to go digging then Friends say look into Rosso Noche. Our friends near you have been hearing a lot about them, some Guerrin something or another. They’ve been pretty interested in who will be heir to the stupid king of somewhere, I don’t remember. Something pompous involving a lot of ignorant shite I bet. Anyway, they’ve been tracking down bastard children. Probably a lot of those. I don’t pay much attention to what goes on in Antiva._

_And Howe. He’s an arl or something, friends of the Cousland family. My Friends don’t like him, they say he’s changed. Not much to go on but something right? I’m surprised you hear about these things over there in Antiva. That place is scary._

_S_

Hmm. With these dealings in Ferelden growing more and more prominent I’ve started to wonder if I should go and look into Arl Howe myself. My concern for Blue has me tied down though. I wonder if she would be open if I just told her the truth about my suspicions of Talisien ... or if she would kill me. Perhaps I’d avoid the latter and look into this secretly for awhile. Maybe, I’d start with Master Eoman Arainai. Whatever he has to do with her I need to know. Infiltrating the crows though, this would be dangerous. So perhaps wrap things up with the Cousland Curiosity first. 

As for Rosso Noche.. well let’s just say I don’t need to worry about that. I’d continued communication with S though to find out more. I’d written back asking about who the Cousland family is. The reply was in my hand, I’d received it yesterday. 

_R,_

_Teyrn Bryce and Teyrna Eleanor Cousland. As far as nobles go they aren’t bad, I’m not one to like the big people but the little people around them don’t complain. Friends have never heard anything bad about them except from Howe’s estate but that’s mostly all rumors and shite. Nothing true._  
_I dug further for you and found out that their sons are in Antiva now. Fergus and Gwaine. Something about a marriage to a rich trading family._  
Their family crest whatever is green. A tear or something.  
(There’s a poorly drawn sketch of it below) 

_Are you defending nobles now? Were it any other noble bastard I’d say no but the Couslands are alright. I mean they keep their little people happy and that’s what’s important. Hope it helps._

_S._

I sighed and let the letters fall away to the floor with my free hand. My other hand was running softly through Zevran’s hair on my lap and I wondered how long I’d been doing that. There were not a lot of innocent pleasures in the world of Crows and I was happy to provide what little I could for him and Rinna. His hand fell from my thigh into the floor beside me, his lungs taking in a deep breathe. He was sleeping. My hand stilled on his back between his shoulder blades and I just felt the rising and falling of his chest as he breathed. I felt the warmth of his skin through his thin tunic and looked over at Rinna. She was fast asleep still. Peace written on her face. I was content. He was content. She was content.

These were rare moments. They are my world. My moon and my sun. My Rinna and my Zevran. My family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello lovelies! You’ve made it through this chapter! this is my all time favorite chapter that I have planned so far. 
> 
> I just can’t resist Zevran. However this does not mean she will romance him later on.
> 
> The song is not mine. It is called the Song of the Sea by Nolwenn Leroy and I just love it! Please look it up!


	5. Tasting the Depths

Changing POV for a while ..

 

That friend of Taliesen’s was a pillow talker. A real blabbermouth for anyone who warmed his bed. He spilled every bit of information he had and everything she needed know. As it turns out Rinna’s true identity was not as secret as it should be. Some people knew too much and if her mission was to succeed that needs to be … remedied. Yet at the same time she felt drawn to locate the Cousland brothers. Easier said than done. It is far more dangerous to be doing two cases at once,m and she needed to remain as focused as possible. Distractions caused premature death. Normally she would choose one to focus on at a time but both of these are time sensitive, neither can wait. If a choice needed to made it would be Rinna that became the center of her efforts. Yet still … a pull on her heart. 

With a sigh followed by a deep breathe she sunk further into the water of the bath. Eyes closed and arms extended to hold herself under. Mind wondering what it would be like if she never resurfaced. Would her life sink into the dark abyss of sweet nothingness, or perhaps it would only be further torment. Not really worth the risk… not yet anyway. Perhaps … if she waited a moment, maybe closer to death she would feel more peace. Falling deep. Falling deep into the depths of the oceans that were her thoughts. 

Weakened as her lungs began to scream for air, muscles ache, she releases the air sending bubbles to the surface. Yet she caved in last minute and broke the surface of the water coughing and sputtering. Her mind consumed with thoughts of how weak she was to have given up so easily. It could have been over now. Her head rested on the framework of the tub and arms dangled outside of it. Tired. Still so close. She had tasted of the depths and wanted more. She craved for the release of her life. 

Finally resigning herself to the fact that she needed to face reality she got out of the bath to towel off. The reflection before her in the steamy mirror was one she barely recognized anymore. The woman in the glass had angled blue eyes glazed over with regret set upon high cheekbones. Pale skin highlighted by steamy flushed complexion now. A small pink scar on her upper lip that would now always be there. Scarred. Part of her wondered if her soul was just as tarnished as the floorboards underneath the bed posts. The other part just concerned with when it would be more than a little lip scar that she would acquire.  
Her gaze turned to the bed where a man lay sprawled amongst the blankets, legs tangled in the sheets. Unmoving and certainly not regretting. Unlike her. He would never regret again.This was a kind of filth that didn’t wash away. A filth that remained inside and corrupted the heart, tearing away at morality and burning.. burning and nagging. Her gut churned unexpectedly and the contents of her stomach were suddenly emptied into the chamber pot. She felt.. dirty. So dirty. Another notch as they say. How many does this make? Does it matter how many. She had felt just a dirty with the first.  
Pushing herself off the floor she quickly rinsed out her mouth and dressed to leave. Hair still dripping as she exited and stopped at the bar. Lithe, shakey fingers waved a red cloth to summon the right barmaid.

“Something I can do for you?” 

“Tea was too strong for my acquaintance.”

“Oh, I can remedy that for you.”

“He left quite the mess.”

“Clean up will cost ya extra.” The lady winked, she knew what it meant. She tossed her a coin purse before exiting the Perfumed spring. Business there was concluded and she didn’t want to lay eyes on that place again for a long time. Tired feet carried her swiftly and carefully to her destination, through Zev’s window, he wasn’t there, and down the hall into Rinna’s room. As she entered she saw her sitting on her bed facing the wall. Alone. Inside she wanted to tell her about what she had discovered when the memory of that man’s disgusting words whispered past her ear and she found herself at the chamber pot again. 

“Red?” Rinna exclaimed rushing to her side. What a disgusting little man… absolutely revolting. She only pushed Rinna gently away and walked over to a small shelf in the crow’s room. Pulling out a bottle of red wine and strong Antivan vodka. 

“I found something.” She stated before chugging a decent amount of the latter of the two alcohols. Feeling the need need to cleanse, something to burn away the disgusting vial traces of last nights deeds. To fog her mind. 

“What did you do?”

“Not what, whom.” She clarified before taking another long swig. “It doesn’t matter. They know, Rinna.” The words elicited a gasp from the elven blooded girl. She watched as the crow began to pace the room. Fury and worry evident in her stride and composure. The news had just lit Rinna’s all consuming fire. She would be furious and yet all the more careful, using her emotions to fuel her. It’s part of what makes Rinna so dangerous. 

Meanwhile Red pressed the bottle to her lips again before stopping and realizing she probably did not want to waste all of this right now. She picked up a bottle of brandy in her other hand and took a sip. Sitting on the floor, legs crossed, back against the wall, a bottle of red wine by her shins. She put the vodka down by her knee and reached back onto the shelf. A groping hand found an almost stale bread roll that she began munching on in between sips of brandy. Then a second roll … and a third .. certainly wasn’t doing anything for her rumbling stomach. Searching again she found whiskey. 

“Ah…quite the scene I have stumbled upon, no?” The words were like honey, poured out sweetly but rhetorically as Zev entered the room. She didn’t bother to look at him. Head rested on the wall behind her and eyes closed as she took another sip of brandy. A sip that became a second sip and then a glug. Eyes still clenched shut. 

_Hot breathe upon my ear. Movement stirring above me._

Another drink.

_Words spoken and rough hands._

Another drink.

_A choked scream before he could climax. Blood gargling from his mouth, spraying across my face and splattering along my collar bones where it looked under my neck._

A long drink.

_Dead weight pressing down on me as his innards became outards all over my stomach. The feel of soggy warmth spreading over me and onto the sheets. Sticky crimson stains._

A very long drink. Empty bottle. Next bottle. 

_Those eyes always looking. Never closing. Hard to push him off. Hard to slide out from underneath. Slimey, sticky saturated. Disgusting. Bloody. Eyes on the dagger in my hand. What have I done?_

A drink. Burning down her throat like liquid cleansing fire, back to vodka. Not feeling anymore clean… Only very tired. Wondering if she had always been this tired? Was she this tired when she got here? No it’s been years. Years since she felt rested ...  
There’s no point in trying to remember. When was the last time she slept anyway. She couldn’t remember. Her attempt to raise the bottle to her lips again failed. Eyes fluttering open to see the gleam of concerned honey glazed gold close to her.

“That’s enough for you.” A soft voice, speaking quietly too. A hum is all she can manage before he takes the bottle from her hand, not even the strength to protest. And .. Rinna has gone somewhere. Where? She wondered l. Have I been sitting here long? All questions that hurt her head. Perhaps she should stop thinking. That sounded like a much better idea to her. Either the lights are flickering or she was losing consciousness but she could not tell which. Someone saying something.. not very clearly though. She didn’t care…. She didn’t care she repeated to herself.

~~~

After Rinna stormed out Zevran would admit he was fairly concerned for the two women in his life. The latter of them drinking herself into a stupor in the corner. She seems entirely exhausted and well.. drunk. He pulled the bottle away from her plump lips and looked at the leather bracelet on her left wrist. Six notches. That explained more than one would expect. Red hummed at his words, probably not understanding a word he thought. He doubted she can comprehend anything at the moment. Dutifully he corked the bottles and replaced them onto the shelf. Then turn back to the dark haired beauty herself and lift her up off the floor. She groaned but made no move to resist as he carried her out and down the hall.  
She’s lighter than he recalled but he’s not surprised with how much she eats.. or rather doesn’t eat. He placed her down onto the bed by the window and attempted to remove her leather armor but she swatted his hands away defensively. The adrenaline rush inside of her pushing aside the effects of the alcohol for a moment. 

Trained fingers run through her damp locks coaxing her to close her eyes and trust. After a few moments she obliges and he manages to remove the leather leaving her in only a loose tunic and trousers. 

He’d never seen her drunk before, the usually ever so cautious woman is always trying to be alert and attentive. He can’t help but think this is unlike her. Incredibly unlike her, leads one to wonder what happened to cause this. Yet he also wonder if she would be more likely to talk in the stupor she has put herself in. Sitting on the edge of the bed he turned around and faced her. His gaze shifted only to find she is already looking at him. How coherent would she be?

“Who are you?”

“I can’t tell you.” Her hand lifts, fingers running down my forearm a little clumsily. 

“Why is that?” He asked boldly but she doesn’t even waver in the slightest. 

“Because.” No hesitation in her response. Now gripping his bicep and pulling him closer. “It’s not safe.” She whispered against his cheek.

“You are perfectly safe.”

“Not me…” she shook her head. His brow dropped in a concerned fashion giving her enough of a reason to continue. “For you. It’s not safe for you.” What he had thought was secretive self preservation was … a defense for ..him? Most likely for Rinna as well. Of that he have no doubt, the two girls are close, it made sense in mind that he’d protect Rinna … but him? His lips part with a question on his tongue but as his inquiring eyes land upon Red He found her fast asleep.

Perhaps he shall impart upon her a gift to wake up to. With a smirk he rose and crossed the room to where he kept his ink and needles. As he worked he thought of when he had met her all those years ago now. A bright Orlesian beauty with a lovely flowing accent. Now her speech seemed comparably tainted with Antivan. Yet her skin had retained its more pale complexion with a more olive tone, flushed with a rosey paler. Though the antivan sun being quite strong had tanned her slightly since then. It did little to dull her charms though. 

He looked down at his now completed work. A small deep maroon mixed with scarlet in the shape of an open rose. Small lines of her skin shown through between the petals. It was a splash of a red wine hue upon her flesh at the base of her right thumb where it met her wrist. The rose tattoo was not very large, slightly larger than a silver but it suited her and the color complemented her. 

He had left his mark upon her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... this chapter is a little depressing I know and I would like to open up and say that this is based off of my personal struggles from a few years ago. They are my real thoughts from a hard time in my life and this story is actually very close to my heart... so please stay tuned to see what happens.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Lovelies! I hope you really enjoy this first chapter! I’ve been working tirelessly on this fic for some time now and I decided I was finally ready to start posting it. So viola. Here it is. 
> 
> Heart. Heart.


End file.
